1.31.2005

Fun Things to Teach the Foreign Grad Student

Conduct daily lessons in useful colloquialisms such as "Yo, I be chillin' wit my peeps at my pad," which should be uttered as: "Jo, I be schilling vith my pips at my...what?" "PAD." "Oh, jes. Pahd."

Also, they should know that attractive females should be addressed as "bitches and hos." ("Beeches and Hohs.")

Finally, the distinction between "THE shit" and "shit" is one that should be reinforced until the pupil has full command of both phrases. ("Schilling vith ju is shit! The shit? Shitty? Please you help.")

This one goes out to my friend, JC the Peruvian God. You got it, boy! You'll be fully American in no time! *Wink*Wink!*

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