Straight Clownin'

Do you hate clowns? How about lawyers?

Clowns can be scary but to be honest, I'm not the type of person who flees the room just because some manic child-entertainer gets a little overzealous with their makeup. Personally, I find grown women dressed as princesses WAY more disturbing. I actually used to love clowns as a kid because I was obsessed with balloon animals- especially the kind that look like parrots but could also function as a hat or weapon. As far as I'm concerned, a clown without balloon twisting skills is as worthless as quantum mechanics without general relativity; which, as Einstein used to say, is like completely fucking worthless.

I grew out of my clown/magic phase when I accidentally harpooned my trachea with the end of a plastic magic wand in the 3rd grade. Well, except for that time in college where some pictures mysteriously surfaced of me wearing a tri-colored clown wig and holding an alarm clock at a party. No one really knew where the wig came from or where it went, and I don't even remember having it on at all. Actually, all I remember is eating a lot of altoids and waking up 16 hours later with my looney tunes drawers draped over a space heater in the next room and my arms wrapped around a pot of macaroni, sans cheese. Typical college experience, really. Maybe you had a crossbow instead of an alarm clock, the details are insignificant.

Here, have some fun with clowns: (not THAT kind of fun you sick pervos)


Here are some scary ass clowns:

But perhaps the scariest clown of all time would be Clown Kevin (even his name is creepy):


Clowns totally scare the living freakin' crap out of me. Them, and realtors.

(wait, did you say clowns or spawn of satan?)
Those clowns are scary alright, but this one is the Mother of all Evil:

yo clowns scare the piss out of me too! i like realtors though, especially the hot ones who don't mind "giving a bit more" to make the sale.
does the phrase "clownish activities" creep anybody else out? Not that I havent partaken in the occasional "clownish activity" but my god, did someone really have to say it out loud? thats all im saying.
Ew on weird clowns.

My husband is a children's entertainer, and waaay back in the day he took a few clowning gigs to pay the bills. They even asked him to be (a) Ronald McDonald. He's seen a LOT of bad clowns in the industry, and many children that were afraid of clowns, even of good/nice clowns.

His theory is that, historically, clowns have always been dark characters, way back to Greek theatre.

But the Einstien quote is VERY FUNNY. Rock on. I work at a physics lab, too. Who knew Einstein said "fuck". He's so hip.
can your husband twist balloons? Because I would love that. By the way, poodles are cool with me.
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