Clowns can be scary but to be honest, I'm not the type of person who flees the room just because some manic child-entertainer gets a little overzealous with their makeup. Personally, I find grown women dressed as princesses WAY more disturbing. I actually used to love clowns as a kid because I was obsessed with balloon animals- especially the kind that look like parrots but could also function as a hat or weapon. As far as I'm concerned, a clown without balloon twisting skills is as worthless as quantum mechanics without general relativity; which, as Einstein used to say, is like completely fucking worthless.
I grew out of my clown/magic phase when I accidentally harpooned my trachea with the end of a plastic magic wand in the 3rd grade. Well, except for that time in college where some pictures mysteriously surfaced of me wearing a tri-colored clown wig and holding an alarm clock at a party. No one really knew where the wig came from or where it went, and I don't even remember having it on at all. Actually, all I remember is eating a lot of altoids and waking up 16 hours later with my looney tunes drawers draped over a space heater in the next room and my arms wrapped around a pot of macaroni, sans cheese. Typical college experience, really. Maybe you had a crossbow instead of an alarm clock, the details are insignificant.
Here, have some fun with clowns: (not THAT kind of fun you sick pervos)
Here are some scary ass clowns:
But perhaps the scariest clown of all time would be Clown Kevin (even his name is creepy):
(wait, did you say clowns or spawn of satan?)
My husband is a children's entertainer, and waaay back in the day he took a few clowning gigs to pay the bills. They even asked him to be (a) Ronald McDonald. He's seen a LOT of bad clowns in the industry, and many children that were afraid of clowns, even of good/nice clowns.
His theory is that, historically, clowns have always been dark characters, way back to Greek theatre.
But the Einstien quote is VERY FUNNY. Rock on. I work at a physics lab, too. Who knew Einstein said "fuck". He's so hip.