12.08.2005

Top Ten Signs that Winter has Officially Arrived in Houston

10. Today was the first time since last winter I could see my own breath in the air. Shut up, it was exciting.
9. My car scared the shit out of me today by emitting a loud *DING* when it started up, which is MINI-speak for, "HOLY SHIT, THE TEMPERATURE HAS DROPPED BELOW FREEZING, EVERYBODY PANIC!" I like this little feature of my car, but have only experienced it TWICE before.
8. Fat, ugly white people wearing FUBU track suits. 'Nuff said.
7. Today's top local news story was about a dude who was seen jogging in a t-shirt and shorts early this morning. I kid you not, they showed no less than 15 minutes of video footage of this poor soul, the camera men chasing after him as he was jogging along, minding his own fucking business. This segment was peppered with such keen journalistic observations as, "That guy is crazy!" and "He must really be serious about his jogging!" and "I'll bet he's cold!"
6. This holiday season, it's not enough to decorate your vehicle with a mere wreath or strand of tinsel. In Texas, you must have actual blinking, colored, singing, animated holiday accessories which are distracting enough to take attention away from the fact that you can't drive for shit.
5. Even non-homeless people can be seen trudging down the sidewalk wearing king sized comforters draped over their shoulders.
4. Despite the fact that I've been drinking hot chocolate almost daily for an entire month now, today was the first day I was able to do so without breaking a sweat.
3. The cloud of dust and smell of burning hair emanating from my vents is a pretty good indication that my heater hasn't seen much use in the past decade. In fact, I think this is the first time I've had to turn it on... ever.
2. My cat has taken up permanent residence under the covers on my bed. If I happen to need that particular space on the bed for my own purposes, he will begrudgingly shove over to make room, but not before pressing his cold, wet nose against every square inch of exposed skin that he can find.
1. I left the house today donning a week's worth of unwashed hair and no bra... and no one was the wiser. Thank God for hats and sweatshirts is all I'm sayin'.

Comments:
You crack me up. It's hard for me to read that and not laugh, while I look outside at the 5 inches of snow.
 
Apparently Mother Nature has lost her calendar.

Houston doesn't have winter... it has two seasons, Summer & February.
 
No bra for me today either.
 
I live in Houston too and can tell it was cold yesterday when I went to let my two Dachshunds out who are usually very eager to go out in the mornings and they get two feet out the door and come running back inside. Then they looked at me like I had done something wrong to them- Ha! I am a native Houstonian and really do not like cold weather and my skin doesn't like the lack of humidity....
 
I, too, have a hard time not laughing, as I look out at the 8 inches of snow and the thermometer, which reads -30, and yet, the wind continues to blow. But the sun is out! (Okay, that was yesterday...today it is 12, with a wind chill of 0!!! Yes! A chinook!
--Montana Anna
 
I can not mock you. I live in Margaritaville where the temperature never gets below 40 on the coldest days. It's 70 degrees out and I'm wearing a sweater. The thing is, I've had plenty enough cold in my life, having spent 9months out of each year for 19 years wearing long johns and snowpants. (I grew up in Alaska)
 
Spoonie, you totally need to rock a racoon hat like in the days of yore. I can't imagine Texas being cold. I am in NC and it never gets really cold here. I guess I am a thick skinned Northerner thanks to growing up in Wisconsin and Pennsylvania.

Keep warm and use Kam as a human blanket!
 
Try not to get your tongue stuck to any playground equipment. ;)
 
If I had a "mini" here in Minne-frickin-sota, it's DING-er would be all worn out by now.

Brrrrr.

Tis the season...EVERYWHERE.
 
braless? now come on - i'm not buyin' that - i've seen those knockers and there's no way you can do without a bra...or is there?
 
Oh, there is. It might not be pretty but it's been done.
 
Girl, it's chilly here too. I hate to say it but I kinda miss snow right now. I know - that's sick, but it makes the house seem all cozy and nice. :)
 
I bet it would be pretty. Especially since it was so cold out! ^^
 
I just went to Target with no bra, as my hooters were hidden behind a down jacket. I LOVE IT. That's one great thing about this season, eh?
 
#7 cracks me up. This happens on my local news when it snows here too. Really sad but highly entertaining.
 
What we call Arctic weather in Texas must sound pretty funny to everyone else. Still, it's hard to argue with 10 degrees.
 
I also share my bed with two cats who think they deserve more space than I do.. It's not too cold here. Just lit the fireplace yesterday... Braless is the best way to be, especially around the house!
 
Open fire, hot chocolate, a doona, and hugs! That should get you through winter.
 
No bra? I'm with Nessa. You better be careful, you could kill someone with those things.
 
4 and 5 were THE BEST!! This post cracked me up!!
 
In Michigan, where it is winter most of the year, we only need to look at the calender to know that it is winter. When I got up this morning, it was 7 whopping degrees. Jesus.
 
LOVE IT! lol
 
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