6.04.2006

Loose Lips and Raging Boners... All in a Deja's Work.

Me: "Hi Dr. B., this is Deja from the 8th floor. I need you to come sign this medical release form for your patient's lab work."

Dr. B.: "What's your name?"

Me:
"Deja. I'm Mrs. Z's nurse."

Dr. B.: "No, what's your REAL name?"

Me: "DEJA."

Dr. B.: "That sounds like a stage name."

Me:
"Are you calling me a stripper?"

Dr. B.: "No, but perhaps you chose the wrong profession."




My name has always been a source of turmoil in my life. In college I won the award for "Name Most Likely to Appear in a Porno," to which I replied in my impromptu victory speech, "I want to thank my mom and dad, who always told me that without college I would amount to nothing. HEY MA, LOOK AT ME NOW! I'M A PORN STAR!"

Apparently, every loose lipped and loose moraled individual feels the need to point out the fact that indeed, my name is identical to many strippers, porn stars and mail order brides; not to mention a handful of African American school children whose parents harbor a special fondness for apostrophes and prefixes. YES PEOPLE, I KNOW ALL OF THIS.

Actually, I probably wouldn't mind enduring all of the jokes if my name wrangled me even half of the income as that of porn stars and strippers with the same moniker. Hell, I probably wouldn't even mind if I could just get LAID half as often as those bitches. I should consider contacting the Guiness Book of World Records, because I'm pretty sure that I'm the only Deja in American history to be both poor AND celibate. Now that's something mom can be proud of.

In fact, I'm reminded of a story...

My freshman year of college, my roommate and I decided to attend a party thrown by some soccer buddies of her older brother. Basically what that translates into is that we had no friends, no booze and no boyfriends, so we were trying to mooch these commodities off of big brother. For the most part, this tactic worked- I think we had collectively hooked up with nearly every member of the soccer team by our sophomore year (my scholastic achievements leave you in awe, don't they?) At this particular party, my roommate introduced me to one individual who couldn't resist the lure of another lame Deja Vu joke.

"That's not funny," my roommate retorted. "She hears that every day."

"Oh yeah?" the dude asked, "Well I have a small penis. Have you heard that yet today?"

The fact that I went home wit him anyway is a testament to my discriminating tastes and elevated standards.

Comments:
That's got to be worse than going through your life having "YO ADRIENNE!" yelled at you at every turn...
 
Oh, whine me a river. Live with a name like Nils Ling.

Personally, I love the name Deja, and it does NOT conjure up strippers for me, nor porn stars. Which makes it unusual, because hey, a frigging salt shaker or garden rake can do either of those.

I just think it's a creative, melodic, unique name. And the beauty of a name like that (as with my name): you have an immediate and uncannily accurate barometer of the intelligence of any new person you meet.

"Hi, my name is Deja."

"Could you say that again?"

Hi, my name is Deja."

"Ah, so that would be Deja Vu! Hahahahaha - "

"You're a fucking idiot. Go away."
 
I LOVE your name- at least no one questions your gender.

And there are no 80's songs to haunt you when friends get drunk.
 
I also love your name, but I understand your plight, which makes my naming my future child all the more difficult...

all I heard was "Janabananajanabanana".
 
Nilbo rhymes with Dildo
 
I'm just going to nema my nect chila penis. It will stop the joking. There will be no one calling him renis, or anything silly like that. They'll just be embarassed to call his name at all. : )
 
I love your name. I don't think of anything bad when I hear it. Like when Nick shouts it out late at night.

I don't like my name, either. It's so 50's, old lady, nothingness. You might as well call me Doris. But don't.
 
I think you have a pretty name and I never associated it with a stripper. I have a cousin named Deijah (I'm guessing that's how it's spelled). Your name makes me think of an old R&B song that says "And I love you Deja" at the end. I think you just have an unusual name for a white person.

And at least you don't have my name. I've been called everything from Serena to Shanaynay to "do you have a nickname or something?". And not to mention I've got a fucked up middle name and a simple ass maiden name that no one can pronounce correctly.
 
You're the first (and I hope last) Deja I have ever met.

I feel your pain though homie, people always say: "oh, your name is Dima, what is that short for?" Why do four-letter names have to be short for something?
 
two words for you..."DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMN Gina" Try Living with that lol
 
my roommate Britta was in the same situation. Everyone responded to her name with, "Like the water filter?" Some people actually called her Britta Water Filter.

Not very creative.
 
Living through 30 years of frickin christmas carols, all year long, I sympathize with the stupid comments you recieve.

I've learned telling people my parents named me Joy for all the fun they had making me shuts 'em pretty quickly. ...now if only I could get them to stop singing.
 
it's freudian. he's hoping you're a stipper.

so am I, actually.
 
Right there with ya. I am always told that I have a stripper/porn name.
 
I like your name, I think it's very cool. And I love that the soccer dude said he had a small penis. That cracks me up.
 
I too like the name. I think it sounds as hot as you look. And just in case you were still bummed, I thought this might cheer you up. Feel free to spread the love among all the other ladies, especially Snaps.
http://www.break.com/pictures/bb8240.html
 
The first Deja I ever met was my fucking gold digging aunt, who married my unsuspecting uncle, and then dumped him with her own kid, their two kids, and a fucking lifetime of bills. You remind me of her.

In the future, why don't you just introduce yourself as DJ Long Tits?
 
At least your name hasn't been the most popular baby girl name for the past TEN YEARS! I don't respond to my name in public becasuse it is always for some brat who isn't listening to their mother and never for me. Although the not listening to mom does apply.
 
Can you tell us what those blue stripes are between your breasts?
 
It's a tattoo you perv.
 
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
 
Deja, you crack me up. Great stories.

My last name is Phvccvccvcv. Well, not really. The "Ph" is how it starts, and those c's and v's stand for consonants and vowels that I'm not going to name, because although it shouldn't be hard to pronounce it is highly uncommon. It's really simple. We all learned very, very early in elementary school that "ph" is pronouced like "f". My name is 100% phonetically correct, but people fuck it up daily. I am, however, very attached to my name, and I kept it when I got married instead of taking the unbelievably unfuckupable Adams.

As for the kid, well, she (there is no fetus yet, but we refer to the future brat as "she" a lot) gets my husband's last name, but I'm sticking her with my last name for a middle name.

You'd think Becky would be an easy first name, and it is in writing, but when spoken a lot of folks think I'm saying Betty or Betsy or even Jackie. Usually it's people who aren't accustomed to Minnesota accents.
 
I think that's why we work...the whole name shit - now tell you mom to get mine straight! She named her kid DEJA for chrissake!
 
ohhh this story made me laugh. I had it bad w/ my name too.

Abi......hmmmm lets see what rhymes w/ that

Flabby (It didn't help that I went throught a fat stage)

Gabby (I did tend to talk a lot)

Crabby (I could be quite a bitch)

Blabby (I never could keep a secret)

I feel your pain. No one ever spells it right either!
 
I happen to LOVE your name.. When someone hollers mine, three people look up... So boring...
 
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